If there is one thing COVID 19 has taught me it’s that you don’t know how busy you are until you stop. In the early days of COVID 19, there was much push to rush and figure out how to handle life differently. Then after we began to figure out pieces, we had a few weeks where we were home every night. I do not have the words to express how odd that felt. I cannot remember any time in my life previous where that had been the case. We spent more time at home than I ever had before. We spent time together, not busy doing something, but just being together. I will forever treasure that time.
But I will, and have done more than treasure that time, I have let that time teach me how to live differently. Those were the days before this private practice, those were days that taught me that I needed to slow down. Church work was slower, or maybe just different. I connected with people but we were not “doing” as much because we couldn’t gather in groups. We got the unwanted (or not so unwanted) opportunity to slow down.
SO why am I reminiscing on this? I think it tells us something about our society, and about our world. Statistics tell us that anxiety and depression rates are always raising and that the trauma experienced by people is at an all-time high. Might it have to do with the way we live our lives?
What are some practical things we can do differently to change the ever-increasing stress we place on ourselves, our children, and our world?
Below is a list, not an all inclusive list for sure, but a place to start, to remind ourselves to slow down and be in the moment enjoying life.
Don’t plan more than you can realistically do
Plan all the things that need to be done
Cook a meal from scratch
Go for a family walk
Plan free/ downtime
Plan time with friends
Put money into things that reduce, not increase, your stress
Recognize what you are trading off
Take time to do things that fuel and energize you
Be willing to make a change
Express thanksgiving for the gifts in your life
Over the next few weeks, I will take a closer look at these ideas and dive into how they can impact your life!
Today let’s take a look at two of these…
Don’t plan more than you can realistically do.
When we have more on our to-do list than can possibly be done, we invite stress, worry, and anxiety into our lives! We often then struggle with not feeling “good enough” or even depression related to self-worth when we don’t accomplish the impossible task we have set before us. Take a moment and look at your to-do list, jot down how long you expect each task to take. Then ask yourself, “Is this realistic?” and “Does that allow for something that does not go according to plan?” If my to-do list coming home from work looks like this…
Go grocery shopping (45 min. – 1 hr.)
Cook dinner (45 min.)
Do three loads of laundry (3 + hours)
Clean 2 bathrooms (45 min.)
Vacuum the house (30 min.)
Put kids to bead by 8
I might be over expecting.
If you get off work at 5 and have to have the kids to bed by 8, it’s simply unrealistic to think that you can do everything on that list.
While everyone’s list is different, we can all fall into the trap of expecting more of ourselves than we can actually do.
So how do you fix it?
First, it’s helpful to prioritize your list. What’s most important? What needs to be done today and what can wait until tomorrow?
Then consider, are there things on your list that may not need to be done at all? Or is there something someone else can take off your plate? Can your 16-year-old start dinner? Pull something out of the freezer? Make your life easier?
Then, sometimes we have the opposite problem (or both of these)
We seem to have a manageable to-do list but are completely frustrated when we can’t get it done. We may need to recognize that we need to Plan everything that needs to be done. If we stop and ask ourselves to look and see why we may realize that we did a lot of things that were not on the list!
If we chop down our list to be manageable and still can’t get it all done, we may need to look at if we did things we never put on our list! We may have gotten more done than we thought, (just not the things we wanted or expected to get done).
If we trim our list to:
Cook dinner (from the pantry)
Do one load of laundry
Clean one bathroom
Sweep by the door
Put the kids to bed by eight
This seems much more manageable, however, we may get home and our evening goes like this:
Walk in the door and have two kids who still have homework not done, one of which can’t get their computer to work. The internet is out and needs to be rebooted, and your husband (or wife) needs a certain set of clothes for tomorrow that are at the bottom of the dirty clothes pile. The trash needed to be taken out and the fridge needed to be cleaned out (or all the old food will sit there another week).
While some of these things are completely beyond our control, others of these things we can learn to expect (and therefore plan into our day). What are the things that we could have seen coming?
Kids needing help with homework
Clothes needing to be washed
Trash night (and cleaning out the fridge)
When we plan those things into our schedule, we may realize that tonight isn’t the night to try and clean the bathroom. That can be planned to wait for another time.
And for those many things that we can’t control (and times we just don’t get it all right), offer yourself (and those around you) grace.
By the end of the night we may have done a load of laundry, and still not have the clothes we wanted clean. The bathroom may still be dirty, and there may be mud on the floor by the door. But in those moments can we give ourselves the grace to know it will be okay?
Tomorrow is a new day. If you need to get up 30 minutes earlier or leave clothes drying in the dryer when you go to sleep, it’s okay. Breathe, and most importantly know that your worth is not found in what you do, it’s found in being made in the image of the Almighty God.
And if from this post you somehow think I’ve got it all together, please know that I’m preaching to myself just as much as I am sharing this with you. We don’t have it all together, but the beauty of the Gospel is that God loves us in the midst of our chaos, and never says that we are worth less because we don’t have the picture-perfect life. And maybe sometime you will turn around and realize that you are living the abundant life, right here right now, even though all the imperfections. You are loved and known by the God of the universe, and that’s enough.